I love these girls!

Last week of discerment for 2013 and I´m taking on the early shift. Yup, 6:30am wake-up calls, serving breakfast, nail checks, and getting them off to school on time.This is usually Amber´s job and I come down later to help the girls with their homework and other tasks. This week I´m testing the waters, I want to know what my new duties will be like once Amber leaves to see if I´m ready to take it on.

My job in the hogar varies; day-to-day situations change, the girls behaviors, events, activities, conversations, so many things affect my experience. When you put 40ish girls ages 5-18 in one home separated into 2 dormitorios, well you can imagine what can happen!
 A couple sneaky 3rd graders, a few that need more patience and attention than others, and with teenageers a little attitude and disrespect. Not to mention the emotional aspect of past situations/why they are in the hogar. Cases of abuse, abandonment, prostitution... It´s tough. At the end of their time here (once they´ve turned 18), they must make their first big life decision and decide if they will move to the transition house or find a family member that will take them in (assuming it´s a safe environment), some girls get anxious before and talk of running away and a few have tried ... Although I belive this hogar to be an open, loving and faith-filled environment, it´s natural to have some rebellion.

The more positive side: when they listen, when they learn and thank me, when I stay up to work on a physics equation I know I can figure out with them, when they need to talk to someone other than the sisters and find me, the times we DANCE or play, reading with a 1st grader, telling bedtime stories, cutting veggies and chatting in the kitchen, searching the library and show them how to use the index, talking about the world and their own cultural traditions, kisses, hugs, joy, and love I give and receive everyday (even when I´m having an off-day and am not my bubbly, giggly self). Not to mention time with the sisters, sharing and feeling a part of their community.

We have a lot of beautiful and wonderful girls here, but how do you teach them everything? How do you teach them to protect themselves, make smart decisons, work hard and the importance of a future, to stay pure and to enjoy the positive things in life and most of all Love God, be thankful for what you have here, not talk back, do chores everyday and be responsible, help younger ones and stay patient? 
  .- You do it with love. You do it by example. You do it by dancing, hugging, kissing and showing them that life can be fun, homework isn´t always hard/ boring, by telling the girls they are smart and beautiful and talented and help them to be prideful of their work and good grades. To have patience with them, not to answer when they talk back, give them the benefit of the doubt and ALWAYS always ALWAYS give thanks to God by praying with a sincere heart with the girls. I do have to discipline the girls at times, but I most love it when I get to laugh, share a joke, talk about my faith and teach them something new they will always remember and will help them in the future.

I don´t know if God wants me to stay here for one more year, my 3rd and last year in Bolivia. A part of me is waiting excitedly for him to say yes,  I love Bolivia and I love these girls...The other part of me is unsure if it´s time, time to move on and be on my own, make my own decisions and not be bombarded by 40+ girls, that maybe it´s time for a fresh, new volunteer who will have the oportunity to share with these girls something new. I´m set to be here ´til December, as for 2013, we´ll just have to see. I will have to stay patient, keep my eyes, ears, and heart open to God´s word, pray everyday, reflect and trust that whatever I feel to be the best decision to not be afraid to take it and know that God is leading me to where I need to be and i´m going to have a beautiful experience either way.